e's wEekly brain dump

It's been an interesting week... really.

• New Internet Sales boss
• My job is changing. Everything's in limbo
• Pursuant to previous: More responsibility. More learning. Potential for more money
• Lunch buddy asked me to join her at the station's tent at the Peanut Festival
• MONSTER headache this weekend... even as I write this
• Epiphany of sorts regarding the world today
  

I learned rather early in the week that my job is changing and I had to make a decision as to whether I wanted to ride the wave or stay on shore. The station wants someone to become their Web Guru... an veritable internet Jedi... and they're asking me. It'll be a lot more work without any initial pay increase-- which is par for the course, but in the long run it'll set me up for a potentially very large return. I am in a very enviable position.

I now have to immerse myself into WorldNow, a video editor/client program I've never gone into more than waist deep. I'm already conversant with Clickability so there's no big deal there, but now I have to add Adobe Flash to the mix, a program I know almost nothing about-- Hey, I've never had to use it! In addition I'll be using Dream Weaver more than I already do... again not a big deal. And I'll be using a lot more HTML (the new Internet Sales manager tells me I won't need CSS at all, that the use of CSS is passe, and on its way out. I thoroughly disagree, but in terms of my new duties [of which I'm still in the dark] I'll not need it. Doesn't mean I'm going to just toss it out the window. I'm going to master CSS if it kills me).

From what I understand, I'll be shooting video and placing it on the station's website. This doesn't impress me as a very big deal except that I've never soloed on a video shoot; my training in that has been deliberately slow. So I expect my training there will intensify.

And just where all the landmarks/mines are, I cannot even hazard a guess. You see, I'm the kind of person that likes to know where everyone stands: what are their duties, to whom do I answer (since technically I'm in two departments), in what situation. I don't like "on the job" surprises. Knowing the lay of the land is the first step toward victory, barring the ability to choose your own ground. And right now, where I marshal my forces... from what position I engage... is not my decision. Someone else is choosing the ground for me. Not an enviable position to be in, I assure you. Over all, however, this is an opportunity that I would be a fool not to take.

I don't like change; Change is unpredictable, no matter how much information one possesses-- something can always go wrong. And yet Change is the only real constant there is outside of God himself.

That has been my life for much of this week-- Flux.

* * *

I shared another enjoyable hour with my lunch buddy on Friday. She is a great conversationalist! I can't even remember all things we talked about, but I do know I was yet again a Chatty Cathy, which is so not like me. I am typically the most reserved person in ANY group or gathering, and yet she is very freeing... not so much in what she does, but rather what she projects. As Luka Bloom sings in Primavera,

You are a beacon in the crowd
You bring lavender to calm"

...and as I typically catalog relationships through music I would assign Primavera to Miss LeNee`.

On another note, she added me to her list of friends on MySpace, and she sent me one of these electronic 'Kisses'; it's some kind of app that allows for flirting or some such, Needless to say, I sent one back, but then realized that might not have been the best thing. I swear I am not trying to get intimate with her. I just can't do that right now. So I'm choosing-- and rightly so, I think --to take it with a grain of salt. Thousands of people blow those kisses around on MySpace, and as I recently wrote, I know the difference between intrigue and infatuation, or in this case, the difference between flirty friendship and an honest to goodness kiss.

A "Kiss" is two pair of lips embracing the soul of one fleeting moment. This was just an electronic image on my computer screen. [got to remember that... really good metaphor]. I sent her a link to a poem I wrote... One Kiss.

In addition to this, she asked me while at lunch if I would sign up and join her the Saturday of the Peanut Festival Parade out at the fairgrounds at the station's tent and keep her company while she smoozes with the public. I'd love to do that, but I'm deliberately delaying any decision. I have my word to consider... the part where I said I could not date because of my current situation. And while I have no illusion that this would be a date, I worry that I may be becoming too attached to a daydream-- she is THAT powerful of a presence to me --and I still have obligations elsewhere. No... there's no ring on my finger, but I'm not free in any case. I've made promises, and I'm not in the business of breaking promises no matter how attractive the light she exudes.

* * *

Eric P. it seems will still be training me on the cameras. And I've already discussed the whys and wherefores. In addition, however, I will be training him to cover for me when I take vacations.

Sidebar: Primavera just ended, and the shuffle has brought about Fleetwood Mac's Sara...
another powerfully beautiful song.

Eric P, by the way, is another person I am choosing as friend. I have been too long without friends.

* * *

The more I look at the world today the more I can't help but see God's hand in the each day's events. It's as though I can see the pen in His hand; the flow of ink following a line of script written long ago, yet played out in real-time before my eyes. How the world can go about building its plans, its own 21st century Tower of Babel is beyond me. All I can say is the world is overwhelmingly ignorant to the truth. Imagine how wonderful it would be to witness the fulfillment of prophecy... and yet billions of people have failed to see the truth that they ARE witnessing the fulfillment of scripture today; that prophecy is in the process of being fulfilled.

Absolutely amazing.

All my troubles and elations this week pale before that one simple truth. Should the world still be tooling along twenty years from now, all the training I'm about to receive may actually be a benefit to me... the friendships I'm building today may actually bear fruit. I may actually find that woman who will put a ring on my finger. I may actually...

Well... Nothing wrong with dreaming, with hoping for changes in my life. But let's not lose sight of what's really important. And depending on what one values most, what's truly important is either held aloft like a crown of laurels, or left behind somewhere in the dust of our travails. For myself, I have visions of a finish line.

In the meantime I'm going to bed with a headache one-inch larger in circumference than my skull, with nothing but water to ease the pain.

Hey! you know me! I haven't had any medications of ANY sort in ages. They are stictly verbotten! Besides, my body does not have a deficiency in Acetaminophen, or Aspirin. Know the cause... know the cure.

So what cause this tremendous headache? I drank something with aspartame early yesterday morning. Now I'm paying for it. Time and lots of Ionized water will take care of it. What? You never get headaches from drink you diet colas? Perhaps that's because you drink them regularly. Think a caffeine headache is bad? Just try coming off Aspartame. No amount of Tylenol or Aspirin will kill that headache. I know all too well.