I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane."
--John Green, Looking for Alaska
I only say "interesting" because it describes exactly how I felt on many occasion about quite a few girls (I say 'girls', but that's just the little boy in me. I mean 'women'), and especially about a new someone in my life.
I'm not interested in the "fnck", I'm interested in the intimacy. And believe you me, Intimacy and Sex are two entirely different soups. They can go hand in hand, but they are not synonymous with one another. The reason being, one is emotional... spiritual even... and can be measured in lifetimes. The other is transitory; it comes, it goes, until next you meet. I fully enjoy the transitory, but I much prefer that one measured by a lifetime.
So, while I do think of the one-- and quite often, being a man --I am drawn to that other 'spiritual' connection between a man and a woman; the one where I could lie down and sleep beside her without the baggage of sex.
Perhaps the most erotic thing I can imagine is being free to be who I am, without fear, in the presence, and in the arms, of someone I truly love.
