e's wEekly brain dump

A lot of talk and a lot of chaotic internal reflection. It's becoming more and more inevitable that I will, in just 5 or 6 months be on my own for the first time in almost twenty years. No I am not getting a divorce-- I've never married. But I am losing a room mate.

I've asked her to marry me numerous times, but she has always dodged the answer. She has said often enough she doesn't want to marry anyone... period. And I'm tired of being single, tired of being celibate, tired of not being able to share who I am with someone who love me enough to share their life with me. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm depressed. And I'm so desperately lonely.

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Due to the end of Daylight Savings Time there was one more hour of Halloween last night.

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I've decided that if I fall in love with anyone, I want someone who's chatty. Someone like Mary Angel; someone who, despite her chattiness, is also willing and ready to listen without interruption; who knows when to let me talk and when to ask questions or encourage or embrace me unconditionally.


And that's enough for this week. I don't think I can bear to continue.